so we're going to elope and then have a big party. i guess this is really happening? if it is a dream i don't want to wake up...
last night he came over and we talked for hours. so much to learn. and we talked with donna a lot. this morning/afternoon the three of us ate at juniors and plotted. then he dropped donna and me off at powell's and we looked at books. "remember: be here now."
donna and i both feel like we're on a drug but we aren't. it's really strange. i feel like i'm on ecstasy right this second and i haven't taken any drug at all for days. (days!) it's really strange to walk around downtown feeling so high, smiling at everyone, giving dollars to the street people, practically floating. the sun and the trees and everything.
on the bus these two people got on who made me really happy so i wrote them a note that said, "you two radiate. keep it up. love, becky and donna" and i drew a 9 pointed star and a labyrinth on the back and handed it to them when we got off.
when he said, "science is just a belief system" my remaining doubts vanished. when i said, "i'm not sure if you're really serious about this" and he said "i'm not sure if you're really serious" because i kept laughing while we planned the elopement. so then i convinced him i was serious by looking at him really serious and solemn and then bursting out laughing again.
donna and i feel like we have reached some new level... heightened awareness and bliss, synchronicity. the first time he called me, on tuesday night, while i was on the phone donna was lying in bed meditating and having a life-changing revelation. sublime.
Everything is the same. My breath. My voice. My memory. You�re in a room. It�s parallax. The memory folds upon itself. Look at the trees. It�s all being one and the same. Look at Donna. It�s love. Love, it�s unfolding. My hands. My breath. It�s all the same thing. Took me out of myself. Oh my god. It�s my life. It�s unfolding. It�s like a forgotten sorrow. You come to a wall and it unfolds. The rose. The teardrop. My thoughts are going. Where is my memory. Consciousness and breath. It�s one and the same. There is no culture where they manufacture essence. Everything�s essence is. Breath is the view. Humanity is on the breath. Whisper. Everything is so fucking unbelievable. Believing. Geometry. Humanity, it�s unfolding. Everything is the same. My pattern is... Everything is one. Wrap your mind around this! Breath and whisper. Sorrow and memory. The forgotten sorrow. I love her. Unfuckingbelievable. Heaven and the place to view heaven from.