NOW

ARCHIVE

NOTES

DLAND

my favorite entries that i've written

06 April 2013 -
17 November 2003 We have only memories. The universe unfolds like a flower. The memory of each moment is like a single petal.
16 November 2003 you just want her to do anything to you there ain't nothing that you won't allow
15 November 2003 fade to the thought and the reason that we had to leave the valley behind
13 November 2003 the journey is the destination
03 November 2003 SEATTLE. sunlight and hills and a perfect stranger
02 November 2003 ITCHING to get out of Portland, Oregon
27 October 2003 it�s just a brief smile crossing your face
25 October 2003 thinking about how to stay out of trouble's way, flying to fall away from you all, it's over division day, beautiful division day
24 October 2003 driving around up and down division street.. i used to like it here...
24 October 2003 i feel the phantom limb... i thought i never would again
24 October 2003 and it's a long time since you cared enough for me to even be discreet
21 October 2003 soon the clues will start to reappear and the new home will reveal itself.
20 October 2003 fantasy
19 October 2003 the mythology of obscured origin
17 October 2003 hey pretty pretty
14 October 2003 why each perfumed flower, why each moment has its hour. it's you......... it's all true......
12 October 2003 "at any time, ordinary people can find themselves, suddenly and without warning, in the presence of magic."
10 October 2003 i know you belong to everybody but you can�t deny that i�m you
06 October 2003 living the timeless life
04 October 2003 be here now
02 October 2003 stepping like a tightrope walker putting one foot after another
29 September 2003 but i couldn�t stand to see your face sent chills along my spine
26 September 2003 me and a perfect stranger
24 September 2003 mona was hungry. her dress was thin.
23 September 2003 for you i could...
22 September 2003 i am the blue-lidded daughter of sunset
21 September 2003 awareness
21 September 2003 guapa
20 September 2003 the whole world just opens up
16 September 2003 so carefully placing one foot after another on wet pavement, red shoes
14 September 2003 the essence of everything is.
13 September 2003 someone has put cries of birds on the air like jewels
12 September 2003 unfolding
10 September 2003 there were places where luxury dropped away.
09 September 2003 i can feel you taking off
07 September 2003 but none of them would meet her in the house of mystery
05 September 2003 we have 90% of what they have 10% of
01 September 2003 but once in a very long while, the traveler finds a place that he knows, never having seen it before, is the place he was seeking. the surgery of the first look.
28 August 2003 the mythology of obscured destination
27 August 2003 a sunset time
25 August 2003 ENOUGH. (or, how I learned to dream)
24 August 2003 trouble was born feet first
21 August 2003 california and what we made of it
15 August 2003 BIRTH PANGS
13 August 2003 so that's emotion, that's love, and trains, the nature of trains, and the meaning of your back to the engine, and guards, stations, platforms, wars, love, heart-rending cries
12 August 2003 i saw you waiting, saintlike, with your warning
10 August 2003 one more starlet one more time, down to make it do or die
09 August 2003 it's the same old town that bled her dry
06 August 2003 to shed this skin, be born again, it starts with an ending.
04 August 2003 strange pain, strange sin
03 August 2003 waiting for the great leap forward
01 August 2003 it's unfolding
31 July 2003 the first time i saw you i knew it would never last
31 July 2003 and we can find new ways of living, make playing only logical harm
29 July 2003 and I swear that I would follow anything-- just get me out of here.
27 July 2003 i can't go on i'll go on
26 July 2003 inside this dream
24 July 2003 landscape/ memory
22 July 2003 I just want someone to walk in front and I'll follow the leader.
22 July 2003 It is unacceptable to bite out parts of your face from inside and spit them at the blue nonstop volcano sky.
20 July 2003 i spend hours looking sideways
19 July 2003 back to the ivory tower
18 July 2003 I wish I could eat the salt off of your lost faded lips
we can cap the old times, make playing only logical harm
we can cap the old lines, clay-making that nothing else will change.

16 July 2003 there is always something bigger
13 June 2003 my joy is covering me... soon i will disappear
13 July 2003 love's an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt. do you like to hurt, i do, i do, then hurt me...
10 July 2003 "and i won't come down for anyone"-- (only for myself)
08 July 2003 You know the anger that language shelters, that love obeys. Those three things. Why obey.
07 July 2003 consumption is not a passion for substances but a passion for the code.
05 July 2003 how i learned to dance in my underwear and 7 inch heels
04 July 2003 "Give me a girl at an impressionable age, and she is mine for life."
02 July 2003 bite marks
31 June 2003 if you are going down it is a wall. that is my message. climb the wall.
30 June 2003 when my idol left it broke my back it broke my legs it broke clouds in the sky broke sounds i was hearing still hear
30 June 2003 on the other hand, withinness may spit you out like a glass eye. in that case, you can paint the box black and call it JUST FOR THE THRILL
29 June 2003 nightmare
28 June 2003 i keep closing my eyes and forgetting what's in front of me
26 June 2003 life and no escape -- (i hate it!)
25 June 2003 this is why we turn away
12 June 2003 you can never go home again
10 June 2003 i love Fred
09 June 2003 my arm's got a death in it
08 June 2003 you must change your life
07 June 2003 summer is what you make it
05 June 2003 i love portland
04 June 2003 reaching blindly for something you might be missing
02 June 2003 i was drawn into your magnet tar pit trap
01 June 2003 i let the heavy sunlight press me into the ground
30 May 2003 She couldn't keep her head up. She couldn't stay out of her dreams.
29 May 2003 she seemed to be thinking about something far away, waiting patiently for someone to destroy her
24 May 2003 climb the wall
22 May 2003 but it's all right, we all know how it feels. it's all right, we all knows how it
ends in the needle, sitting beside her, so sewed together, nevada spider

13 May 2003 if we can break thought free of impulse slowly, slowly the day scream subsides...
12 May 2003 the beginning of the beginning
10 May 2003 time take us forward, relief from this longing
09 May 2003 lately i've been wishing i had one desire, something that would make me never want another, something that would make it so that nothing mattered, all would be clear then. -bright eyes
07 May 2003 my life is so strange
05 May 2003 the day my life turned upside down
03 May 2003 release
03 May 2003 the waiting game
01 May 2003 I chose not to choose life. I chose something else.
28 April 2003 birthday. 22.
26 April 2003 your glance is hiding in the brilliance of some star.
25 April 2003 from a dream you won't remember flashing on--
24 April 2003 my mind is going
21 April 2003 phantasmagoria
19 April 2003 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
19 April 2003 sleep. drugs. vomit. no no no yes yes yes.
18 April 2003 i know i can't keep living in this dead or dying dream
17 April 2003 dawning
15 April 2003 RED SELF
11 April 2003 i'm not scared of anything
10 April 2003 horror
09 April 2003 my strange college
08 April 2003 ideology interpellates the individual as a subject. (i love you althusser.)
07 April 2003 i sold my soul to anthropology
06 April 2003 the story where blessings of glory collide
05 April 2003 43 hours to go
04 April 2003 i love the roses in my mother's garden
04 April 2003 death
03 April 2003 There is something wrong with my mind.
02 April 2003 no news, no regrets
01 April 2003 the things that hold joy in place
31 March 2003 a play in three acts
29 March 2003 all the pretty little horses
29 March 2003 in search of lost time
27 March 2003 eternal return
26 March 2003 Addiction, like nostalgia in general, is a form of mourning
23 March 2003 we are so small between the stars, so large against the sky
22 March 2003 fill the bathtub with ice, hope this fever will break
21 March 2003 heaven is never enough
20 March 2003 i hope he never lets me down again
17 March 2003 gregor samsa died for your sins
14 March 2003 you come to a wall and it unfolds
11 March 2003 the synthesis of these contraries unfolds in the creative action of the historic subject
10 March 2003 i've got this hunger and i can't seem to get full
09 March 2003 bad actors with bad habits. some sad singers, they just play tragic
09 March 2003 playing at house
08 March 2003 wet and dark
07 March 2003 i'm done feeling like a skeleton, no more sleep walking dead
06 March 2003 nothing is true; everything is permitted
04 March 2003 this bell-stroke of noon and of the great decision
03 March 2003 we became what we wanted to be, like a dream, or a ghost
02 March 2003 noa noa
27 February 2003 we'll need something to remind us of all the sweetness that has passed through us.
26 February 2003 there's a dream in my brain that just won�t go away
23 February 2003 permitted to promise
22 February 2003 i am the late fruit
21 February 2003 asymptote: the rising breaking emotion
20 February 2003 we live by tunneling for we are people buried alive
18 February 2003 you would settle for anything
16 February 2003 I AM EVERYTHING
14 February 2003 all that is solid melts into air
13 February 2003 concretely in a tiny glass picture you dance.
12 February 2003 I told you when I came I was a stranger
10 February 2003 we told her she was beautiful, we told her she was free. but none of us would meet her in the house of mystery
08 February 2003 looking kind of spooky and withdrawn, like he could be underwater
07 February 2003 it's a question of not letting what we've built up crumble to dust
03 February 2003 all sins are attempts to fill voids
01 February 2003 la mu�eca
29 January 2003 never got cold wearing nothing in the snow
28 January 2003 no one knows, i live in a dream
27 January 2003 tabula rasa
25 January 2003 to complete the design
24 January 2003 i'm going to try for the kingdom if i can
19 January 2003 how to stop time
16 January 2003 My joy is covering me, soon I will disappear
13 January 2003 halcyon and on and on (i exist)
12 January 2003 war lies in the origins of the picturesque
09 January 2003 clothing was simple, they dressed in hunger and woe.
08 January 2003 no context
07 January 2003 nothing belongs to us except in our memories
05 January 2003 love letters
04 January 2003 there was never a time when i did not exist
03 January 2003 at this moment everything looks clear to me, but what happened just before?
01 January 2003 real events for the imagination
28 December 2002 WE'RE FUCKING GOING TO SAN FRANCISCO ON ACID
28 December 2002 the end of december, i'm writing you now just to see if you're better
25 December 2002 a thrill of hope the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!
21 December 2002 potlatch
21 December 2002 love for three clementines
20 December 2002 the asymptote, the high pitched blinding roar
19 December 2002 it's about how broad your gaze is and how close in you are.
17 December 2002 the vertigo of an honest world
16 December 2002 resistance
16 December 2002 i love le corbusier
15 December 2002 it's the mood that i'm in, that left us back where we began
14 December 2002 the radiant city
12 December 2002 nostalgia, architecture, and revolution
11 December 2002 in praise of character in the bleak inhuman lonliness
11 December 2002 something that you feel will find its own form
10 December 2002 my boyfriend's back, he's gonna save my reputation
09 December 2002 the violence inherent to the system
07 December 2002 portland is my babylon
06 December 2002 in tranced fixation dreaming upon object before you
05 December 2002 aqua marine
04 December 2002 a spectre is haunting europe
03 December 2002 cold wind
01 December 2002 "those were the good old days: we had everything except money" -this american life
29 November 2002 at the promenade
28 November 2002 keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr morning
26 November 2002 the rush
25 November 2002 winter
23 November 2002 you say she's waiting and i know what for
21 November 2002 shadow catcher
20 November 2002 trapped in the periphery
19 November 2002 big toy -- human horse dog -- suicide bridge
14 November 2002 city playground
11 November 2002 the outside on the inside
11 November 2002 oranges and lemons
10 November 2002 there's a certain search for certainty you know we'll never see
09 November 2002 wet/cold
05 November 2002 things which enclose me, or which i cannot touch because they are too near
05 November 2002 i'm taking the cure
04 November 2002 your body still remembers things you told it to forget
03 November 2002 happy birthday to donna
01 November 2002 cast your fate to the wind
31 October 2002 "becky never blinks"
28 October 2002 the night's a spill, a permanent stain; the city soaks in silence
26 October 2002 party for the people of the open wound
24 October 2002 the city is high, and we could lose ourselves
24 October 2002 it may have come and gone, at least we saw it once and it wasn�t lost on anyone
23 October 2002 depth of field
22 October 2002 is it your fear of being buried that makes you so afraid to speak?
20 October 2002 i want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
18 October 2002 we're talented and bright-- we've found some lovely ways to disappoint
16 October 2002 hold on to the corners of today
15 October 2002 certain gardens are described as retreats when they are really attacks
13 October 2002 deep play: a story they tell themselves about themselves
12 October 2002 all the way back home i'm telling you i caught the sun creeping up behind my shoulder, another day's begun
11 October 2002 i need to find my tribe
10 October 2002 the vertigo of a flawless world
08 October 2002 let's just keep touching, let's just keep singing.
08 October 2002 death
06 October 2002 good night moon
05 October 2002 bolero
04 October 2002 help, i can't sleep anymore
03 October 2002 anthropology 211, paper #1
30 September 2002 i need a totem.
30 September 2002 halfway through the middle of the night
29 September 2002 i need a catalyst
28 September 2002 the sunlight's so oppressive today.
27 September 2002 anthropology is necessarily a science of boundaries
26 September 2002 the death of the author
23 September 2002 having looked for a hollow among the thickest pines, we make a fresh camp there. the wind blows on us, and we, rather tired, lie down and keep listening to the rustling pines until we fall asleep.
22 September 2002 beneath it is all dark, it is all spreading
19 September 2002 fuck you fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
19 September 2002 i should now like to prove the irreversibility of eternity by useing a jejune experiment for proving entropy.
18 September 2002 corduroy
17 September 2002 not history but a memory.
14 September 2002 i recall the sunshine as you were melting
13 September 2002 there were places where the luxury droped away, where i waited. i saw something flash open--
12 September 2002 three aqueous events
11 September 2002 Dies irae, dies illa, Solvet saeclum in favilla: Requiem aeternam dona eis, Domine, et lux perpetua luceat eis.
10 September 2002 created half to rise, and half to fall
09 September 2002 the anti-cynic
09 September 2002 riding a bicycle into the 21st century
03 September 2002 i'm a schoolgirl/ science experiments for the self-medicated
31 August 2002 and all the trees that line the curb will be rejoicing and alive
26 August 2002 somewhere someone says i'm sorry, someone's making plans to stay
22 August 2002 i'm going to be perfect from now on
21 August 2002 "oh, thank god."
20 August 2002 i can't believe no one ever told me.
18 August 2002 leaving a trail of ambiguous picture postcards
17 August 2002 i saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness
17 August 2002 spy on me.
15 August 2002 it's never too late to build a geodesic dome.
13 August 2002 "nothing bad had ever happened to me-- if i had died then i never would have felt real pain."
11 August 2002 losing, but i'll try, with the last ways left, to remember
09 August 2002 you breathe in 40 years of failing to describe a feeling
07 August 2002 i'm unconsoled, i'm lonely, i am so much better than i used to be.
06 August 2002 i could have told you all that i love you
05 August 2002 this strange change in atmosphere
05 August 2002 "life is beautiful. really it is. full of beauty and illusions."
03 August 2002 it's hard to remember when it seems like such a long time
29 July 2002 endless summer
28 July 2002 the concrete is fire where my bare feet are placed, in a line, next to yours
23 July 2002 how strange it is to be anything at all
23 July 2002 i am drawing the story of how hard we tried
21 July 2002 no one knows: i live in a dream
19 July 2002 meow?
18 July 2002 silence, exile, and cunning
18 July 2002 oatmeal
17 July 2002 explode
17 July 2002 to be on the edge of the point where you will do anything
16 July 2002 your mouth belongs to me
15 July 2002 summer skin
14 July 2002 as the pattern becomes more intricite and subtle, being swept along is no longer enough
13 July 2002 if i die before i learn to speak, can money pay for all the days i lived alive but half asleep?
12 July 2002 and let's move to the beat like we know that it's over
11 July 2002 leave it on my doorstep, or on my windowsill
09 July 2002 unconditional heat is almost as good as unconditional love
07 July 2002 saturday, part one: urban adventure
06 July 2002 the bracelet of heartbreak
04 July 2002 i saw you waiting
29 June 2002 saturday
29 June 2002 old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead.
29 June 2002 "dave, you're wanted on the promenade."
27 June 2002 the sun comes up and i'm all washed out
26 June 2002 cucumbers, nectarines
26 June 2002 la fiebre
25 June 2002 full moon
23 June 2002 i saw you waiting, saintlike, with your warning
22 June 2002 i'm taking the cure, so i can be quiet wherever i want
21 June 2002 Catalpa speciosa
20 June 2002 rode down south through her little world, like a dream: you can do it if you want to
19 June 2002 gabe says: summer is what you make it
18 June 2002 to see how long our swan song can last
17 June 2002 I am not edible
16 June 2002 sunday
14 June 2002 11th grade diary
13 June 2002 the decadence of summer
13 June 2002 the wind blowing through the house is warm
11 June 2002 la la la
09 June 2002 i cannot touch because they are too near
09 June 2002 i saw your face, and i thought you were a dream
08 June 2002 eyeliner
06 June 2002 knife in the water song
06 June 2002 paradise and back
03 June 2002 the revolution of everday life -or- a day with becky
01 June 2002 will you be content with that bare windowless room?
01 June 2002 impossible memories
31 May 2002 sun
31 May 2002 no
30 May 2002 my favorite bikini kill song
29 May 2002 light stops everywhere in the air. to whom does our action belong, even at the best of times?
29 May 2002 like bringing ourselves to a garden
28 May 2002 the days are long where i come from
27 May 2002 love too much, love at all
27 May 2002 just love
27 May 2002 recover the blankness
27 May 2002 more silly
27 May 2002 e
24 May 2002 this house built cleverly for you and me.
23 May 2002 everything that keeps me together is falling apart
23 May 2002 the rising breaking emotion
21 May 2002 work is the curse of the drinking classes
20 May 2002 skin
19 May 2002 a tribe lost by finding it
19 May 2002 la vita � bella
17 May 2002 pirates
17 May 2002 this strange day is almost over
15 May 2002 nothing new
14 May 2002 let me go on
14 May 2002 stop the box
13 May 2002 like two stars hung in a deep wind in space, who appear motionless as they hurtle toward each other at 186,213 miles per second in a silence that cracks a wall.
12 May 2002 sidewalk
12 May 2002 i just want to stop seeing
11 May 2002 sunburn
11 May 2002 hanging fire
11 May 2002 air
10 May 2002 die
09 May 2002 chesnut
08 May 2002 bracelet
08 May 2002 do you want to see the edge
07 May 2002 these are days we dream about, when the sunlight paints us gold
05 May 2002 the nude that broke my heart
04 May 2002 restless
04 May 2002 across the street
03 May 2002 escapism
02 May 2002 ambience
01 May 2002 save me
30 April 2002 help
27 April 2002 cake
26 April 2002 renn fayre
25 April 2002 periphery
28 April 2002 those three things
23 April 2002 small world
24 April 2002 rose garden
21 April 2002 millions now living will never die
26 April 2002 sillyness
18 April 2002 phthalo blue
22 April 2002 apex
18 April 2002 morning
17 April 2002 pavement
13 April 2002 no hair
12 April 2002 floating
11 April 2002 heaven
08 April 2002 more like a song
07 April 2002 in between
06 April 2002 summer's gonna come it's going to cloud our eyes again
04 April 2002 windy
03 April 2002 old world
30 March 2002 juice
26 March 2002 skytrain
21 March 2002 this is your new home
19 March 2002 art
18 March 2002 poverty
13 March 2002 sleep
08 March 2002 cold
06 March 2002 following me
04 March 2002 i love my bike/ i love portland
28 February 2002 lost in an alley maze
27 February 2002 glory
27 February 2002 la la love you
22 February 2002 vancouver
18 February 2002 never stop
16 February 2002 st. johns
16 February 2002 blue crate
04 February 2002 too much coffee
29 January 2002 me and a perfect stranger
23 January 2002 crooked
21 January 2002 singing
17 January 2002 mn
12 January 2002 sault ste. marie
15 February 2002 valentine
30 December 2001 border
29 December 2001 parallax
29 December 2001 curious girl
27 December 2001 freedom
22 December 2001 snow
02 January 2002 leaving
18 December 2001 warm bed
15 December 2001 brand new time zone
15 December 2001 muffin party
13 December 2001 division day
13 December 2001 it's not even the past
11 December 2001 good coffee
10 December 2001 those three things
9 December 2001 hitchhiking to portland part 3
9 December 2001 hitchhiking to portland part 2
8 December 2001 hitchhiking to portland part 1
4 December 2001 my favorite entries that i've written, all in one place.
4 December 2001 favorite things!
24 December 2001 frozen pear
16 April 2002 a trap