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cast your fate to the wind
01 November 2002 - 6:59 pm

that strange sound you said i said... last night (halloween) one of kevin's connections invited him to a closed door party at a pretty nice strip club (although i wouldn't know since i've only been to two). anyway, he gave him 3 tickets so he took me and eva. we thought it was going to be a lot more exciting that it actually was, but it was ok. we got to sit at a special reserved table with kevin's friend, who got us all free drinks somehow.

all the dancers were dressed up, as nuns, nurses, schoolgirls, you get the idea. they had some fire dancing, which was really cool until something caught on fire and these huge bouncers (who were wearing scary masks) had to spray the whole stage with fire extinguishers. whatever is in those things is really nasty and everyone started coughing. then for the rest of the night the bouncers tried to clean off the stage, but they couldn't get the residue of the stuff off. luckily there were several other stages on which to watch naked chicks. we sat for several hours talking to kevin's friends and watching everything. we'd all done a lot of coke before we left, and someone had assured kevin we wouldn't need to bring any with us. but everyone at the party ran out too, and everyone was scrambling to try to find more, to no avail. the person we usually get it from was asking us if we had any.

every time eva got up to use the bathroom various men would come up and try to talk to me. (a guy with a thick spanish accent informed me he had just moved here from "france" and was trying to get to know people). one of the owners of the club invited me to some porn star after-party. it sounded interesting but we were all too tired so we took a cab home.

i met a lot of people i'd heard a lot about, it was fascinating to be so deep in the midst of things i can't comprehend. whispering and webs. at the same time i'm glad i'm seperated from it and i have my real life that still has a thread of acceptability. when i'm in the middle of the other side i get vertigo thinking about how their lives really are on the edge of the cliff, where i always imagine myself to be but really i'm several feet back.


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