today: i bought my first pair of heeled shoes. i have never worn heels before, besides at prom (i took them off immediately) and at natalies little dom show i helped with. anyway, i found these classy black shoes with an ankle strap and heels at metro on hawthorne. i can even walk in them, when the benzos aren't so strong. oh i am quite the vixen in my black thigh high stockings, short skirt, black lace shirt, garnet bracelet. and now the shoes. 4-inch heels are a bit excessive for my first try, but if you're going to do something fucking do it all the way, right? i can walk, kind of.

we got a project table from a new friend, it's old and wooden and SO the vision of perfection i had in mind when i thought of creating a studio. we're rearranging donna's room to make a little alcove of artist bliss.

and i'm in love! no one knows who it is though, and no one ever will, i will carry it to the grave. it is enough just to feel that feeling, you know, the ocean rising in your heart. and i know nothing.

yesterday donna and i went to lexly's art opening in SE industrial. it was lovely and he took us out to rimsky's for dessert and my obligatory double espresso with honey. i have been frequenting that place a lot lately. that night the old spider piano lady was playing. the first thing she played was debussy's 1st arabesque, my favorite thing to play on the harp. there's her, there's lace shawls, spiders, widows, and the steel bridge. they fit in a corner of my world. the steel bridge looms like a black nightmare over the river.

and lexly said we could model for him, for money, and for beautiful photographs, i've seen his of other people.

i'm so excited about our artist's studio. it's going to be a fine gem.

bet you haven't seen this one in a while. it's our ZEITGEIST, our gestalt therapy. birth pangs, baby, all the way, i will live forever.