if my last entry was unclear, donna and i are in portland, again, after spending 6 days in california. it goes on. looking for jobs, taking walks, taking psychedelics to answer questions. scribbled scraps of paper drifted through the window. notes from the other side:
we are in a spaceship.
i am about to fall in love.
it always hurts more if you suffered for the person.
the only way to cure space distance is with time.
life goes on, whether or not you want it to, in any small way that it can.
two feet in. this is like two feet out.
i'm jumpy. donna is expansive.
I feel like it's you and me standing back to back conducting this orchestra that's getting out of hand.
we try to stay in the moment and not worry about past/future because right now it doesn't make any sense at all. we are so lucky, still.
landlord knocked yesterday, "where is august rent?" after telling her we have jobs and we will have rent soon (not really true) she was still pressing me so i said, "maybe we can figure out some other way to make money." and maybe she realized that we really don't have the money because she offered to let us help her with some construction she's doing, like painting and stuff, in exchange for rent. that would be wonderful.
every evening we watch the sunset off the balcony. the sky is so big. we're living in a sunset time. my room is bathed in golden light every day. at first i was sad but that usually doesn't last very long. donna revises her daily schedule every few minutes. lists. plans. we're going to write a book about portland. some say a new day will shine...
we tried to figure out what life is trying to teach us. but then we said, fuck it, we'll just create something out of whatever the fuck just happened to us.. bye...