i just got a funny email from the reed communal shit collective, a student organization. it was sent to the whole student body. this week is "prospie week." prospies = prospective students, high school kids who come with their parents and take tours of campus all day. apparently there are going to be a lot of them this week. so here's the email:

"Prospie Week Antics

*Wednesday: Corporate Dress-Up Day

*Thursday: Prospie Tour Infiltration Extravaganza!

*Friday: GOD BLESS AMERICA DAY!

Wednesday - Korporate Dress-Up Day
Bust out your business suits and those cell phones we know you all hide in your backpacks. Relish in your corporate whoredom. Bring a Starbucks latt� to class and check your stocks in the paper. Complain to fellow Reedies about how those goddamn liberals want you to pay more taxes. Spontaneous brawls between classes, every hour, on the hour, may occur. It's a cutthroat world and you need to get your aggression out, right? Massive brawl on the Front Lawn at 1PM sharp. No one has class then - you must be there. The perfect opportunity to hit that cute cubemate over the head with your briefcase. Long live capitalism!

Thursday - Attend a Prospie Tour With a Giant Stuffed Animal Day
Stuffed "prospies" deserve a tour too! Help them out by taking the stuffed animals you see around campus on tours. Have them ask questions. Lots of questions. Or grab a kommie bike with your komrades and, pirate-style, raid the tours. Lots of aaaarrrrgs and musical instruments like trumpets and stuff will add to the prospie's experience. We swear! email ----- to get in on "secret missions".