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asymptote: the rising breaking emotion
21 February 2003 - 2:42 am

ok, i am the ultimite geek, reading websites about calculus at 3 am! (but i <3 calculus...) this entry started as a footnote, referring to the preceding entry, the 4th to last paragraph. that paragraph reminds me of the asymptote, my #2 favorite concept (#1 is parallax). bear with me through my math lesson, you need it to understand the rest.

asymptote n. (Math.) A line which approaches nearer to some curve than assignable distance, but, though infinitely extended, would never meet it. here is a better explanation. (i stole this math stuff from this site.)

the graph of f(x)=1/x

The x-axis is a horizontal asymptote... As x gets really, really big, the graph gets closer and closer to the x-axis which has a height of 0. So, as x approaches infinity, y is approaching 0. This is called a limit at infinity. As x gets really, really small, the graph is again getting closer and closer to the x-axis (which is 0.) It's just coming in from below this time.

The y-axis is the vertical asymptote. As x approaches 0 from the right, y approaches infinity. As x approaches 0 from the left, y approaches negative infinity.

the asymptotes lie along the x and y axes, the places to which the graph gets infinitly close but never reaches. see, isn't that a fascinating concept? the feeling it reminds me of is of some overwhelming sound or light or movement that keeps accelerating at a greater rate. the breaking point. when you want something so much you think you'll burst. on a swing, your movement makes a long arc as your feet brush the ground; then you sweep up and out towards the sky. just as you reach the apex, you swoop down again, like the path of a bird's flight.

things feel like that to me. accelerating at a greater and greater rate, then falling, falling into peace or solitude. sometimes i feel like i almost have it, i almost just touched infinity, but it's never enough, never enough to end that rising high note in my ear of frenzied possibility. like drawing your bow across the violin so hard you almost break your hand and the strings. never stop never stop never stop. will there be a release. will there be the moment in which time stops and vision is seared by light. limitless potential in the smallest amount of space.

there were places where the luxury dropped away, where i waited.
i saw something flash open then lost it.


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