the other night i had a dream that i was in a car with my mom driving. we were on a freeway in some megalopolis and we came upon the largest freeway interchange i have ever seen. a tangled mass of spaghetti ramps and overpasses ten layers deep. some of the ramps went upside down and in curly cues, like a roller coaster. as we approached it i became anxious. the ramps were so narrow and tightly curved it seemed that we might lose contact with the pavement and fly off into space.
we drove around with s. last night and it reminded me of that dream. there are so many freeway ramps. it's not real. i can control my anxiety about riding in cars if i think the driver knows what he's doing. but it's so fast.
when we got back we walked to powell park in a dream; i wore my 9th grade red dress. the playground was wet and vibrating. i don't remember much. at home we were sitting on my bed when a cat popped up to my window, the same cat that visited us a few weeks ago. we let her in and she hung out for a few hours. i videotaped donna playing with the cat.
i was really divorced from reality. from my paper diary "i am barely sane right now. if i'm concentrating on something it makes sense but as soon as my thoughts wander i drift into dreams or nonsensical ideas about what is in front of me (this book)." it took me a really long time to write that because i kept losing my train of thought. at one point i was looking at my journal and i thought it was a lap-top. donna thought we should keep the cat and name it "mauritius" (points if you know where that is). but from my stupor i said, "no, we should name it piccadilly circus." i have NO idea where that came from. so the cat had a name but after a while it started looking wistfully at the window so we let it go, into the night.
yesterday i met tony, at an undisclosed location. i had the marx, he had the grapes, and no one saw. brilliant. we came back here and conspired with donna for a while. arvo part provided an inspiring soundtrack for rivers roads and rails; the threatening drums drove us to find a solution that used every. single. piece.
today i am very tired. we might go rescue our bikes from m.'s house if he ever calls us back. i registered for my classes: Modern Humanities 220. Anth 320 Communism and After: Ethnography of a Strange World. Anth 352 Anthropology of Europe. Anth 430 Signs. i emailed my anthro professor to tell him that i'm changing my major, and i asked him what i need to do (what does one do?). i feel like i'm having an identity shift. i feel like i'm betraying the art department. i don't want to talk to my painting professor, it would make me sad. this is what scares me. i also registered for kundalini yoga. my europe class is from 6-7 pm and if i took more hatha yoga i would have class until 7 every day (kundalini meets earlier). i know nothing about kundalini yoga. i'm sure it will be wonderful. the best part about a new semester is buying new books and this might be the best one yet. onward.