two papers down, one to go. 8-10 pages on marx due saturday. i've done all the reading, all i have left is re-reading and writing. today our drug reward was some klonopin, which made us a little sleepy. but we washed all the dishes and played. oh so tired. my anthro paper turned out really good i think, i threw in a bunch of my own ideas that i think about all the time... like parallax... it was my masterwork. unfortunately i was tight on time so i only read through it once, but donna read it and said it made sense, at least. i can't expect everyone to understand my ideas right away... i'm so tired of writing. one more paper and then my parents will be here for christmas and they'll take me out to eat somewhere nice. the world of people who have enough money. i will be there for one week.
rob came over tonight, randomly, while we were quite a bit out of it. donna is talking to him in the kitchen. i'm kind of too spacey to want to be coherent, i'm afraid my impression is of a drug induced daze. you never know how people feel about that. i tend to say things in an unreal voice that i don't realize are inappropriate, like "hey lets get some ----" oops.
if it hadn't been for that one time, when it was so perfect, i wouldn't have understood. the other times it was just ok. but the memory is like an ocean that washes over me.
where do we make boundaries... an amazing friend of mine in 6th grade, denise (i wonder where she is now) told me that she wanted to experience every possible thing you could experience. and i said "even your mom dying?" and she said yes, she wanted to know what everything felt like. now i understand. how can we restrict our experience? it's like, i truly don't care. i just think, then i'll know what that feels like. in the murky border between life and an ocean falling over your everything.
but that's how i talk when i'm crazy, crazy for everything. to be on the edge of the point where you will do anything. "oh, thank god"
A line which approaches nearer to some curve than assignable distance, but, though infinitely extended, would never meet it.