i just have this feeling that everything will work out alright. i don't know why. things have always worked out, even when they seemed hopeless. when i had my wallet, with all my money in it, stolen in barcelona. a random person in the train station paid for my train ticket so i could get to milan to catch my plane back to the US. that was pretty amazing. and when i just happened to ask a guy at a party if he knew of any jobs, and he got me that bike delivery job.
things just fall into place and you don't even know how. you blink and everything is golden. i suppose there is a way to look at anything and make it beautiful. the pattern. as i get older so many things open up... my expectations are never enough for what really happens. we are free, and we are free to create ourselves through our actions. we are nothing but what we do, the person we form out of an infinity of choices. no one is trapped. people feel like they aren't in control but they are...
ashley said i had a calm, peaceful face. she asked "do you always just observe what's happening, watch everyone?" maybe. i try to fit it all together.
i saw some kids walking home from the high school by my house and wondered if they really appreciated the street we were on. do they even see it the way i do...
i wish you could know how i feel sometimes. maybe no one feels that way. yesterday i was reading in the library, about the cultural unconscious, and i just wanted to giggle or something, i had this warm energy. when i pedel so hard, as if the faster i go the closer i will be to the truth.
beauty makes me hopeless. i don't care why anymore I just want to get away.
i am part of this thing, life, and my loyalties go on down from there like nesting boxes.