after a half an hour i started pounding and yelling at the door, and i heard a groan. she slurred "yeah i'm probably going to bed now. justa minute." silence. after another half an hour, i went back and started yelling again "jade! unlock the door!" and she finally woke up and mumbled, "i'm trying. why do you want to come in?". "to make sure you're ok, and i have to pee". "you don't have to make excuses, i'm so fucking drunk." she opened the door and walked out, saying "i don't know why but it's so disgusting." "what is?". "puking up gross shit." and she went in the living room and passed out on the couch.

yesterday kelly and virginia and i were discussing the Mess, and i was saying that i'm a perfectionist and i like to clean all the time, and how my apartment in portland was spotless. gabe thinks i'm crazy. me: "i wish i didn't have to walk throught the living room to get to the kitchen." (countless spilled ashtrays and beer bottles, piles of stuff, more piles of stuff, old food.) gabe: "why? what's wrong with the living room?"

i think mogwai fell into the bathtub. jade had the tub full, i guess before she passed out. i just noticed that mogwai's fur was all wet and funny looking and she was painstakingly licking it all off. mina fell in the toilet a few weeks ago too. this morning i was feeling nice so i gave them some expensive canned food and felt the warm glow of doing a good deed as i watched them devour it.