so yesterday julian, c., and i went to the bagby hot springs, on acid. it's east of here about 2 hours, in the mountains... we parked and hiked throught the most beautiful forest i have ever seen, towering trees, veils of moss draping over branches, a cathedral of arching green. a thundering river, clear aqua water, through rocky streams and over fallen trees, everything seemed to be on a scale larger than life, at least the life i am used to. it hurt my eyes how tall the trees were. when we arrived at the hot springs, there are wooden structures built about 100 years ago, semi-primitive system of troughs bringing the hot water to hollowed out logs used as large pools and tubs. you bring buckets of cold water to even out the hot, and lie there, staring up at the immense trees and infinity of space. look down at the wood grain magnified in the water. wood/water. trees/sky. skin/air. i said to julian, i have never been anywhere more beautiful. we are in paradise.
there were other people there too, at some points, but i was tripping too hard to talk to them. luckily c. and julian had not taken as much. an old, super rich new yorker talked to them for a while. he probably thought i was their sex slave who didn't speak english. i sat eyes averted and smiled trying not to explode from the super-strong energy and waves of light. i thought, my life does not exist. what is this place.
i wrote in my notebook. "the pine trees. i cannot leave the pine trees." and "the camera eye".
after all day in paradise we drove back to reality, which consisted of me, andy, and jared going to the red and black and acting ridiculous for a few hours. i thought everything was funny, and andy was being insane.
later, when i was about to go to sleep at 1 am, i got a phone call from c. (who lives nearby). "do you want to spend the night with me? i'm lonely and i really like you." um.. no. no. i'm sorry. someone please kill me. (he is 34). in my delusional half-tripping mind it really scared me so i hid downstairs with andy and kegan. and somehow we thought it would be a good idea to watch the most fucked up movie ever, mulhollend drive. oh god.
i stayed up until 4:30 being scared as hell by the movie, and slept fitfully until 11:30 am, when i was supposed to be at work. no matter, i got there 30 minutes late and all i had to do was eat free food and sit in an art gallery reading.
"he turned to appease the fierce longings of his heart before which everything else was idle and alien. he cared little that he was in mortal sin, that his life had grown to be a tissue of subterfuge and falsehood. his blood was in revolt. he was in another world: he had awakened from a slumber of centuries."
identify this quote and i will love you forever!!