then this other guy kept jumping on us and spilled wine all over me, and would not get off. we really wanted to leave but the next bus wasn't until 5 am. we were hiding from the creepy guys in another room, when a girl came in to say goodbye to someone and i asked her if she could give us a ride. so we escaped, and now we're home and we feel safe again, but i feel so sick--not from drinking, but from feeling so unsafe and trapped. dangerous situations are ok, but i hate feeling trapped. i need a way out.

donna's making pancakes and we're going to comfort each other. i fucking hate drunk guys throwing themselves at me while i'm trying to talk to my friend. and when we were leaving, another guy said, "oh, by the way--what was your name?--you have really nice breasts." oh, thanks. fuck you. fuck. you.

but we did meet a bunch of really amazing people, and talked to them a lot... one of the funnier one was this guy who had a band called "the regurgitation." i asked, "so what kind of music do you play?" and he said, "puke rock!" puke rock? his band invented it. they write 30 second songs about puking and killing people. seperately, and combined. they have a song called "puke fight" and "death by puke"!!!!!

now i'm eating pancakes with powdered sugar. earlier tonight i felt kind of shitty but fighting off those rabid males made me feel a bit more alive. ok, the feeling is almost gone now. it's this crawling on my back, like i just can't be comfortable until i release something. makes me shudder.