a continuation of the previous thanksgiving entry (if you make it to the end you get to hear about me going insane!).... so-- we finally liberated donna's bike, and giddy at 3 am we decided to ride bikes to m. and nicole's house in NE near killingsworth (very far). donna hadn't ridden her bike for months, and it was rusty and broken. the chain kept getting stuck, but i finally fixed it. when we arrived at 5 am, lily was running around in her underwear, everyone was in various states of drug induced insanity, and the dog was barricaded in the kitchen after accidentally eating 5 strong pot cookies.
i brought my cards that i made in 9th grade, which each have a phrase from jack kerouac's "belief and technique for modern prose" on them. i was handing them out as fortunes. it was interesting how various people interpreted their "fortunes". one girl was so hysterical when she picked "work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea" that she could barely explain why it meant so much to her. someone told me there was someone there from my college; i didn't know her, but it was surreal to have someone from my other world there. i talked to her for a while.
after a while people started leaving, and some of those remaining took acid. all of a sudden a fight between m. and nicole in the next room escalated into screaming, and nicole ran out crying that he'd hit her, and she ran outside. when she finally came back an hour later she locked herself in the bedroom, so m. camped out in the computer room for the night.
donna, s., lily, and i were the only ones left awake. we put dune on the tv but didn't really watch it. mostly lily and i had a fashion show in her hello kitty underwear and took pictures. around 11 am we became determined to watch brazil, so donna and i tried to make ourselves look presentable and set out on a quest to get a membership at the blockbuster 10 blocks away. i took a lot of pictures of trees on the way. we both felt kind of self-conscious walking around in broad daylight after being up all night, but we were in the "hood" (or, portland's hood), where everyone we passed was either disabled, insane, or both. we were actually the best looking people around. after going through all the paperwork, we found that blockbuster didn't have brazil or any of the foreign movies we wanted, so we got mullholend drive.
we were a little nervous about returning, since s. and lily had recently gotten together and were making out with each other in front of us all night. we thought they might be having sex, so we sat at a dingy park for a while and watched a little kid play on a sad, unidentifiable red structure that looked like it had been through a war. when we got back they were lying on the futon but assured us that they still wanted to watch the movie.
after a while, some combination of hunger, drugs, lack of sleep, and the escalating uncomfortableness of the situation made me extremely sick. in the middle of the movie i felt nauseated, but m. was in the bathroom, so i went on the front stoop and vomited a few undigested pieces of thanksgiving dinner onto the lawn and dry heaved for 20 minutes. i have never seen any of the neighbors out on this street, but several of them happened to pick that moment to have drawn out goodbye sessions with their relatives. after i stopped puking, i felt 10 times worse than before. the movie was over, but s. had taken m.'s car to take lily home, so we had no ride and i was too sick to ride a bike or walk to the bus.
nicole said i could lie down until i felt better or the car came back, but after a few minutes she and m. restarted the fight from the night before, in the bedroom. the stress was making me feel even more nauseated, especially when it became a "fuck you" screaming match. but donna said since it was their house we didn't have the right to intervene unless there was physical violence. just then, we heard slapping sounds and they were both screaming like mad and there were loud noises, so i made donna go in. she took m. in another room and tried to calm them down. she said they were both bleeding. we started to feel really bad about still being there since they had no privacy, so we decided to take a cab, and left 10 minutes later.
after we got home, i spent the next 2 days lying in bed, too weak and sick to do anything. my advice: try to eat at least as many milligrams of food as you do drugs, and if you stay up all night, it counts as a new day and you have to eat accordingly, even if you aren't hungry. breaking these rules will make you very ill. i seem to have fucked up my metabolism somehow, i am constantly extremely hungry no matter how much i eat. this morning i was so starving i barely had the energy to make myself food, and i ate 4 times as much breakfast as normal before i was full.
i have also been having auditory hallucinations while sober, so i think i will lay off the psychedelics for a while.. i spent last night completely delirious. i couldn't sleep because i slept all day, and most of the night i thought i was at my parent's house, in the room i had when i was little. when i accidentally hit the wall with my knee, i was worried i had woken up my parents. later, i thought i heard donna crying in the kitchen and tried to call her, but instead i called "mommy". i instantly realized my mistake and was embarrassed that the person had heard me, but the crying stopped, there was no one there. i also heard a bunch of other noises that i later realized weren't real, since donna and dave spent the night at the neighbor's apartment. after waking up and stuffing myself with food, and finally taking a shower, i feel better, but i don't feel like trying to sleep again for a long time.